When is it Time to Give Yourself a Nudge Again?

Image: A woman standing at the end of a diving platform, where she used to jump without thinking—now wondering if she's ready.

There's a moment in burnout recovery that feels like standing at the edge of a diving board you once leapt from without thinking. You know you used to be the woman who took on all the difficult asks, thrived under the challenge and could calmly handle whatever obstacle was thrown in your direction. But now that same diving board looks terrifying.

The question that haunts most of us in recovery is this: How do I know when I'm ready to challenge myself again, rather than just going through the motions of feeling better?

There's a big bloody difference between the two.

The Fear Keeps You Small

After burnout, there's a voice (I’ve introduced you to my mate Stella) that is there to nag you: "Remember what happened last time you thought you could handle things?" She's still working overtime to keep you safe but she's also the one making you second-guess every opportunity, every invitation to step up, every moment when you feel a flicker of your old ambition.

Studies show that personal agency—your sense that you can influence what happens to you—is the strongest predictor of successful recovery. Not positive thinking. Not grinding harder. Not pretending you're fine when you're clearly not. The research tells us that the most beneficial path to recovery was observed when personal agency was high and was reinforced by a supportive job environment and favourable personal factors.

Which means at some point, you've got to trust yourself again. But how the hell do you know when that point is?

There is a Difference between Fear and Wisdom

The thing about recovery is that your nervous system has become brilliantly, exhaustingly good at keeping you safe. It's become your overprotective Dad who won't let you leave the house because there might be traffic—except instead of traffic, it's literally everything that might require you to function like a human being.

The system that once helped you push through (and probably contributed to burning you out in the first place, thanks capitalism) is now calibrated to protect you from anything that resembles the stress that broke you.

And yet there's a crucial distinction between the voice of fear and the voice of wisdom. Fear sounds like: "You can't handle this, remember what happened last time, you're not strong enough yet." Wisdom sounds more like: "This feels manageable, I have support, I can try this and adjust if needed."

There's research on work engagement—burnout's opposite—that gives us a clue. People who are engaged feel nourished by their work, have personal agency, and feel that they have the means to affect outcomes. When you're ready to nudge yourself forward, opportunities start to feel nourishing rather than threatening. Revolutionary concept, I know.

Some Subtle Signs that You Just Might Be Ready

Surprise surprise, there is no light-switch moment where you suddenly feel invincible again. Recovery from burnout is more like ice slowly thawing in winter—shifts so gradual you almost miss them. Which is infuriating when you're desperate to feel like yourself again, but there we are. So readiness might look like this:

From desperation to curiosity: You start making choices because you're interested. Instead of "I have to do this to prove I'm better," it becomes "I'm interested to see how this feels."

Your body finds calm: When someone mentions a project or opportunity, you don't immediately feel that familiar clench in your stomach. Your nervous system doesn't sound the alarm bells that you're being chased by a bear (even though it's just Ryan from accounts asking if you’d like to be on the Christmas Party committee).

Guilt-free rest becomes possible: You can actually switch off without your brain immediately jumping to all the things you "should" be doing. Research shows that when we keep working during off-hours, we recover less—shocking, I know. When you're genuinely ready, you can engage with challenges during work hours and then rest when it's time to rest, without feeling like you're committing some kind of moral crime.

Your inner voice shifts: You catch yourself thinking "I can handle this" instead of "I have to survive this." A subtle but important shift.

Preferences return: You've probably gotten quite good at identifying what you don't want and then you start choosing what you actually do want. What interests you. That's a pretty cool moment.

Remember That Recovery is not a Straight Line

Some days you'll feel ready to take on the world. Other days, writing a lucid email will feel like a bloody achievement. Both are valid. Both are part of the recovery game. Anyone who tells you otherwise can kindly fuck right off.

The key is learning to distinguish between the days when you're genuinely ready for a gentle nudge and the days when rest is still the wisest choice. Your body knows the difference as long as you get quiet enough to listen. Which is harder than it sounds in a world that profits from your exhaustion.

Test the Waters

When you are ready to take the small step to challenge yourself again, start in the shallow end. I recall my coach asking me what my small step might be. She was thinking "go for a 5-minute walk" and I was thinking I should write a strategic approach for my new career. There was a huge and unrealistic gap between where I thought I should be and where I actually was.

Testing your capacity might look like saying yes to a small project that sparks your curiosity. Having that difficult conversation you've been avoiding because it actually feels manageable today. Choosing the longer walk simply because you want to see where it leads. Volunteering for something that feels interesting rather than overwhelming.

The brilliant thing is that when people are genuinely recovering from burnout, they naturally start gravitating toward growth and change like plants growing toward the light - not thriving because you've demanded they reach their potential by Friday, but because capacity expands when it's ready, and you'll find yourself naturally reaching for slightly bigger challenges as your confidence rebuilds.

You'll Know When You Know

Your nervous system spent months learning to protect you, and now it's slowly learning to trust again—a process that can't be rushed but can be honoured. When you're genuinely ready to give yourself a nudge, it won't feel like forcing yourself back into your old life because you understand your limits now, know your needs, and challenge yourself from strength rather than desperation. You'll want to try things. And if you realise you're not quite ready, you won't fall in a heap; you'll feel encouraged by simply giving it a go. You'll give that woman who's emerging the chance she deserves, because she's earned the right to be trusted.

If this resonates and you're figuring out your own path back from burnout, you're not alone. If you need help learning to trust yourself enough to nudge forward from strength, that's what I'm here for.